Hallo, I'm Julia.
I Thought It Was Just Me summary
The 3 stages
- Awareness of shame
- Reacting to shame
- The role of anger
- Recognise your triggers of shame. This is the first step to being able overcome shame.
- There are no universal triggers of shame. This is personal to to everyone and dependent on past experiences.
- Defining what shame means to you allows you to take a step closer to being more aware of yourself. This can help you over time to practice how you response to shame, rather than letting automatic non-helpful impulses take over.
- The one antidote to shame is empathy.
- Being able to relate with others who can empathise with what we're feeling, without judgement, helps us overcome our shame.
- Be vulnerable with others and seek empathy. This may be the last thing you want to do because shame can trigger anger as an automatic emotional response.
- Pointing the finger and blame at others that have caused us hurt gives us the illusion of control and helps us avoid confronting our own feelings.
- Anger is not in itself negative - just don't use it to avoid / cover up deeper feelings.